


Lamaze Lessons

by andachippedcup



Series: Domestic Belle [18]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-04
Updated: 2013-02-04
Packaged: 2017-11-28 04:11:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/670126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andachippedcup/pseuds/andachippedcup





	Lamaze Lessons

There were moments – few and far between, generally – when Rumplestiltskin truly regretted teaching his wife how to use the computer. He’d regretted it the day she’d turned up with her pet pig, courtesy of some online research. Since then there really hadn’t been any memorable moments like that.

Then Belle had learned about Lamaze classes.

“Now there are many positions you can try when going into labor but there are really seven that are considered ideal for pain reduction and labor expediency.” The little fairy Lamaze instructor chirped as she instructed them. Belle, ever the attentive one, was scribbling bloody  _notes_ on a pad of lined paper, nodding and pursing her lips as she focused, her husband beside her trying to will the instructor into silence with a death stare.

Thus far, it wasn’t working and he still had to hear her speak about a multitude of birthing things which, honestly, were enough to make any husband concerned and lightheaded.

“Alright moms and dads, let’s have you practice these seven positions!” She directed, waving at the couples grouped mostly on the other side of the room, having given the Dark One and his wife a wide berth. Belle enthusiastically set down her paper and pen and looked to her husband expectantly.

Rumplestiltskin, however, came with cop outs included.

“My knee, dearie.” He tapped his bad leg, shaking his head. “I don’t think it’d be wise for me to partake. I’ll watch you though.” He offered and Belle shot him a little frown but nonetheless sat up and waited for instruction.

“First let’s have everyone grab an exercise ball. Sit on the edge of it and rock back and forth.” The instructor walked around the room, appraising her pupils. She walked by the Golds rather quickly, as intimidated as anyone else was by Belle’s standoffish husband.

“Well, is she ‘rocking’ suitably?” He questioned sneeringly and the instructor startled, surveyed Belle hurriedly and then nodded before darting back to the center. That earned him a sharp smack on the shoulder from his wife, who sat perched on her bright purple plastic ball rocking rhythmically.

“Very good everyone. Remember to sit upright; this will relieve the pressure on your back during labor. Keep your legs bent at ninety degrees. Birthing balls are wonderful tools so if you like them, you can bring them into the labor room with you.”

At this Rumplestiltskin snorted lowly and chuckled, whispering to Belle under his breath.

“Women have been giving birth in the old land all their lives without giant toy balls, I think you’ll manage dearie.” He smirked but Belle merely shot him a death glare that had him recoiling with a sheepish, apologetic smile.

“Now ladies, changing positions every ten contractions or so can help speed up the birthing process. It can help corkscrew the baby out of you!” The woman smiled, her attempt at wit earning laughter from the circle of expectant parents.

“Are you giving birth to a child or a fine wine?” Rumplestiltskin remarked dryly and the instructor paled slightly before she continued as if she had not heard him.

“Another technique is the sit and lean; get in a chair, put one foot up and lean forward. Many of your ideal positions will involve leaning forward. Contrary to this world’s medicine, lying down is not ideal for birthing a baby.”

And on it went. They went through various other positions – the lunge, the forward lean, the left sided lie down. By the time they made it to the sixth technique, Rumplestiltskin’s limited patience was waning.

“The next one is called the sway; ladies, you’ll need your partners for this one. Put your arms around their neck and sway gently back and forth, almost like you’re slow dancing.”

Belle’s hand found his so fast and with such surprising strength that Rumplestiltskin found himself on his feet in the blink of an eye, his wife staring up at him pointedly as she put her arms around his neck. As the pair began to sway side to side, he found his opinion of the class rapidly changing.

“Like this position better, do you?” Belle whispered with a dry smile and her husband gulped, then nodded, his palms sliding down the small of her back and massaging her in small but ever widening circles. Belle’s eyes fluttered closed, her lips parted as he worked much of the tension out of her body. She was noticeably pregnant now, no longer forced to try and emphasize the baby bump that was their child. It was now apparent, though still small enough to be concealed if she so desired. Fortunately, that was not the case and even as they swayed from side to side, their foreheads gently pressed against one another, he could appreciate the way that her shirt plainly displayed each beautiful curve of her widening form.

It was quite obvious that Belle was proud of their child and had no qualms about letting it show. And it just made him love his darling little wife all the more, really.

It was some minutes later that they realized the rest of the room had gone quiet, the other couples having long ago stopped doing ‘the sway’ move and instead having focused on Rumplestiltskin and his little librarian love. Sheepishly, the pawnbroker stepped (gently) away from his wife, one hand still on her back. When the eyes on them failed to disperse though, he cleared his throat and stared hard at the instructor.

“Well, what’s the hold up, dearie? By my count that was only six positions.”

The instructor fumbled for a moment and quickly averted her gaze away from the couple as Belle buried her face in her husband’s shoulder, shaking her head all the while.

“You’re horrible.” She muttered, her voice muffled by his shirt sleeve and he only chuckled quietly in response as the instructor took up the helm once more.

“The ah, the seventh position is going to sound a little strange but it will be a savior in the delivery room.” The instructor smiled uneasily, her eyes drifting back to Rumplestiltskin warily. “Mommies, go ahead and carefully get on all fours; this eases back pain and will help to rotate your baby into a facedown position ideal for delivery. Daddies, help coach your partners through it!” The instructor explained as the women moved slowly to assume the position.

He could tell Belle was more than a little hesitant when she glanced at him and he nodded encouragingly, holding onto her to help ease her down to the floor. For some time she sat like that, her palms spread on the cool tile, facing away from him and he suppressed the laughter that bubbled up in him at the sight of her, pregnant and awkward and adorable.

“Wonderful job moms and dads!” The instructor beamed as the couples regrouped. “Now dads, remember; you may not be able to push for mom but you can help her a lot depending on her needs. Some moms may need gentle touches or massages to help keep them calm. Hand holding, stroking the cheek or forehead, maybe patting their shoulder or hand. Ask your partner what she needs and do your best to give it to her. What mom needs, mom gets.”

At that, Belle smirked at him and he shook his head wryly, smiling all the while.

“As if you don’t already have me wrapped around your dainty little fingers.” He remarked teasingly and Belle giggled quietly until he caught her hand in his and twined their fingers gently, pressing chaste kisses to each knuckle. Belle’s eyes were bright as she met his gaze and he smiled at her tenderly. “How’s that for ‘gentle touches’, hmm?” He crooned quietly and Belle simply leaned into him, her lips hovering by his.

“That was lovely.” She murmured, giving him a smile before she slowly pulled away, apparently intent on teasing him with undelivered kisses. He gave a quiet groan but let it slide as they refocused on the class and the information that was being disseminated to them.  

They went over various things that could be done to help with the labor and delivery, from doulas to pain reduction techniques, even birthing plans. When book titles had been mentioned, Belle had begun scribbling down notes furiously, intent on making note of every recommended author and book title. Her husband could only laugh inwardly; leave it to his little Belle to seek out a book to teach her the oldest, most natural process in existence.

“Alright, we’re almost done for today! We’re going to end by showing you a video of a live birth to give you all an idea of what you’re in for within the next few months.” The instructor smiled secretively, slipping a VHS tape out of a very worn case and queuing the video before she slipped quietly away.

——-

“Belle, dearie-” He began for perhaps the sixth time since they’d walked out of the Lamaze classroom but his wife was once more oblivious to his attempts to rouse her from the horrified, trance-like state she’d entered since seeing the birthing video. He hobbled to catch up to her, having stayed a moment after the class had ended to speak with the instructor. Belle, however, had blown out of the room as if it were on fire and had not slowed her pace.

It wasn’t until he reached a hand out to gently grab her upper arm that she flinched away, her eyes wide.

“Rumple that was…that was-” she scrambled, at a loss for words, “- _that was terrifying!_ ” She whispered urgently and he grimaced, nodding.

“Yes well the video was a  _touch…_  graphic but on the bright side, you won’t be seeing any of that. It’s only the doctors that’ll have to deal with it, but none of that should be within your line of sight. That’s better, isn’t it?” He offered hopefully, doing his best to be comforting in the light of her horror.

“Better?” She repeated, her voice dazed but prickling angrily. “There’s nothing  _better_ about having to be the one to have a baby  _explode_  out of your body!” She shrilled anxiously as she strode to the car.

“Well the baby won’t really be  _exploding_  out of you…” He attempted, uncertain how best to comfort his wife now that she’d realized the full messy state of birthing affairs.

“Rumple babies…babies are  _huge_! That video said that by the fortieth week a baby is the size of a small pumpkin!  _A pumpkin!_ ” She emphasized, her eyes round as quarters now. “You want me to push something the size of a pumpkin out of me! I’m not Cinderella, Rumplestiltskin, I have  _no_  interest in pumpkins!” She hissed and he bit back a laugh at her reference to his deal with the blonde princess and the enchanted pumpkin carriage that had gotten her to her ball.

“Darling it’s a natural thing, I’ve no doubts that you will manage beautifully.” He tried to comfort her, grabbing her hand and tugging her gently to a halt as they reached the car. He slid a hand lovingly over her stomach, cradling the baby bump that was the cause of all this debate. Belle, however, was having none of his comfort and covered his hand with one of hers, holding it to her stomach roughly.

“Rumplestiltskin our baby is the size of a lime right now.” She remarked, moving their hands out from her stomach to mime how large she would be by her pregnancy’s end. “Pumpkin.” And then she pulled their hands back to her stomach to emphasize how small she was now. “Lime. Pumpkin, lime.” She repeated for emphasis.

“A lime. I can manage a baby the size of a lime. I can.” She nodded, her curls bouncing as she tried to impress this point upon him. “According to all the reading our baby already has eyes and ears and its intestines should be moving into the right place and the baby’s kidneys will be working soon.  _Our baby will be producing urine soon_. Its face is human. I think it’s ready to be born.” She finished sagely with a nod.

He could only stare at his wife, dumbfounded and more than a little lost.

“Belle, darling-”

“No, don’t say it. I know what you’re thinking – I’m being silly. But I’m not! Think of the fortune we would save on maternity clothes alone! I’m still small enough that I’ve been fitting in all my old dresses. This way, we never have to buy me a new wardrobe! And, and we could use doll clothes on the baby until it’s bigger! I mean, it’s only about two inches long now according to the books but that’s fine. If it’s a girl we’ll just name her Thumbelina.” Belle advised, her voice growing higher in pitch.

“Belle, even if I had the magic to deliver our baby now, we both know that’s not best.” He stated quietly, his voice feather light and tender as he tried to let her down easy. Instead, he found himself being tugged forward as his wife seized him by the collar and yanked him toward her.

“I cannot give birth to a pumpkin, Rumplestiltskin.” Belle growled. “That woman was in pain and she was  _screaming_ and there was blood and…and…” Belle fell silent and shivered as she recalled the graphic nature of the birthing video and he patted her gently, doing his best not to think about any of the things they’d seen.

“Darling…that- that’s what giving birth is like!” He commented. “Surely you knew that going in?” He asked, feeling suddenly guilty at the notion that his wife had made a deal she didn’t fully understand because of him.

“Of course I knew, I just didn’t… _know_.” Belle murmured, blushing fiercely. “The books all describe it as this beautiful thing and this great bonding experience for the parents and they use all these pretty, frilly words. How was I supposed to know that giving birth was all so…so-” She searched for the right word and he interrupted her with an accurate description.

“-disgusting?” He offered.

“I was going to say  _painful_!” She shuddered and buried her face into his chest as he held her tightly.

“Dearie, as frightening as it is, I know you can do it. You’re the bravest soul I know.” He whispered into her ear as he continued to hold her. “And if you wait, then our baby can develop fingerprints. And it will start having facial expressions. It’ll get taste buds and fingernails….and genitalia, which might very well help us pick out a name for the little biter.” He smiled and Belle did the same as she wiped away tears and stepped away from her husband.

“You’ve been reading my books.” She remarked happily.

“And here I was thinking they were  _our_ books.” He shot back playfully before he nodded. “I have. A husband must be prepared to help his wife through pregnancy and childbirth. Every single step of the way.” He remarked and Belle ducked her head, blushing.

“I’m sorry I went crazy and asked you to deliver our baby.” She apologized and he gave a low chuckle as he stepped toward her, lowering his face to hers.

“According to our readings, that’s just your hormones and pregnancy brain talking.” He smirked before he pressed a loving kiss to her lips and then reached around her to open the car door for her.

——-

The ride home was uneventful and by the time they pulled up in front of the pink house, Belle was tired, achy from the birthing poses and ready for a shower and pajamas. It was only three in the afternoon but her husband didn’t dare comment. Belle’s hormones were fickle things these days.

She kissed him at the bottom of the stairs, a long, lingering kiss that welcomed him to make something more of it. When he failed to act, she made her way up the stairs slowly, shrugging out of her clothes as she went in what she hoped was an alluring fashion.

She had tried to be seductive (not an easy thing to accomplish as the days went on and her midsection got rounder and rounder) but apparently she hadn’t done it right because her husband had stayed at the bottom of the stairs and watched her go without a word.

Well. So much for that. He wouldn’t be joining her in the shower after all.

She stepped under the hot spray of water, a sad little pout fixed on her face at her failure to seduce her husband into the shower with her. Belle lingered beneath the water, letting it work out the frustrations and tension she’d been carrying with her. By the time she turned the shower off, she felt almost as good as she had pre-birthing video.

She was still unhappy with her husband though. Damn him and his arrogant smirks and little quips, teasing her in Lamaze class and then not bothering to come upstairs for some much deserved…well, not rest but ‘fun’ seemed appropriate.

Belle had just slipped into a silk gold nightgown (an intentional choice aimed at taunting him, she wasn’t ashamed to say) when she heard movement downstairs. Pulling her hair up into a damp ponytail, she padded down the stairs, intent on ignoring him until she rounded the corner and found a large, baby blue birthing ball sitting on the living room couch, an immense golden bow stuck on the side.

Belle smiled as she felt a pair of warm arms encircle her waist from behind as her husband nibbled gently at her neck and then kissed her jaw before he whispered in her ear.

“You didn’t ever ask why I stayed behind to talk with that silly little instructor of ours.” He baited her and she smiled as she reached a hand to run through his hair as she hummed appreciatively.

“Why did you stay to talk with our instructor?” She asked, playing along. She felt him grin against her neck as he traced his lips over her throat and then finally answered her.

“To make sure my plans for this evening were…pregnancy-friendly.” He remarked and she cocked her head to the side, puzzled as she tried to catch his eye.

“And what exactly did you have planned for the evening?”  Belle asked, genuinely intrigued now, her earlier irritation utterly forgotten about.

“Nothing that involves you wearing clothes, however nice they may look on you.” He remarked, his voice a low rumble in her ear as his fingers slid up her shoulders, prompting her to shiver and grin.

“Mister Gold.” She purred approvingly.

“ _Mistress_  Gold.” He retorted with a grin as his hands sought hers and he towed her gently up the stairs and toward their bedroom.


End file.
